Shaving... the Hair-y Truth

Fuck shaving.

I don't do it anymore. It was a momentous day when I sentenced my faithful razor, Winkie*, to death by way of Trash Can.

I tired of watching men traipse about, mindless of the multitudes of hair on their legs; of witnessing guys clad in tank tops, tufts of manly hair jutting haphazardly out from armpits. (I always figured that guys should have warning signs for all that armpit hair. Really, some of it is quite impressive, to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if it inspired a neo-artsy movement. The Body Hair of Men: A Retrospective Study.) Body hair on men: Natural, expected. Bodacious. Telling of testosterone.

All of that man-hair was strolling about, even while I was wrestling with and combatting my own, equally natural, yet shockingly brazen-for-being-there body hair. Why the fuck is my body hair so offensive? Why should my legs be hairless? Because men prefer it? Why the fuck do I care what men prefer - am I a toy? What if I preferred men with hairless legs? A) I'd be SOL, and B) Men shouldn't care about what I prefer - they should care about what they prefer to do with their own bodies. While it's possible that social pressures for men to be hairy are preventing hordes of men from embracing their Venus razors and letting the fur fly so that they can achieve the dream of hairlessness they've always dreamed, I somehow doubt it. Shaving - any body part - is simply not fun. Nicks, razorburn, and missed spots are all part of the deal. And are all un-fun. I truly believe that the majority of people, of both genders, detest the act of shaving.

So I decided: Let the hair grow. What the fuck do I care? If men don't find it fuckable, then they can fuck some other chick. I'm sick and tired (a trite phrase, but so applicable when you really are sick and tired) of women grooming their bodies for the ultimate purpose of being, in a word, fuckable. As for the argument that women are competing with other women rather than trying to catch men's eyes: Women compete with other women for the express purpose of winning the local 'Miss Fuckable' title.

An additional reason in my fight against shaving: I've been abused by men ever since I was little. I'm over worrying about what men want. I don't give a damn if other men find me "fuckable" or not. I am with the man I want. He's enlightened enough to realise that women have body hair. (Few men are this enlightened. My father, for instance, freaks out when he sees my mother shaving. As though she came out of the womb the hairless fuckdoll he always wanted.)

I realise that Americans are conditioned to view body hair on women as freakish and horribly unattractive. Seeing a woman with hairy legs throws most people for a loop. I still start on occasion when I glance down and spot my legs, hairs waving freely in the wind.

And they're quite spottable: I am not blonde. I've always been hugely amused by the women who refuse to shave and who are also blonde. Unless you are close enough for an in-depth view, blonde body hair just isn't visible. Dark hair is. It takes far more in the way of brass ovaries to refuse to shave when you're brunette.

Women's bodies grow hair. To quote Florence King: "Tough titty." Grow up & accept that we're mammals already.

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.